


I See You

by AceLucky



Category: Red Dead Redemption (Video Games)
Genre: Angst, Comfort, Comfort Sex, Cuddles, Grief/Mourning, Guilt, Hurt, Kissing, Multi, Nostalgia, Outdoor Sex, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Promises, Reader Insert, Safe in Charles' arms, Set after rdr2, Smut, Spoilers, Visions, gender neutral reader, ghost of a lover, sex without words
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-29
Updated: 2019-01-29
Packaged: 2019-10-19 01:52:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17592467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AceLucky/pseuds/AceLucky
Summary: I know you’re hurting… I know that you feel lost….that the sun won’t rise again..that the air hurts to breathe…Set after the events in RDR2 (I didn't select major character death as it's something that's canon) the reader (gender neutral) was Arthur's s/o. Now Charles is looking after them, having promised Arthur they would do so, they find that the best way to find closure is through physical connection and their new beginning.





	I See You

_I know you’re hurting… I know that you feel lost….that the sun won’t rise again..that the air hurts to breathe… I know that I know nothing of how you feel and yet I know that your lungs feel about ready to burst._ There’s a thousand things Charles wants to say to you, but in the end, he knows that there is nothing he can say that will lift the burden, relieve the pain that has been devouring you ever since that day. Arthur, his name haunts you, his wit, charm, his humanity in the end. But it wasn’t just Arthur, it was the loss of family, home, hope… 

You tried to piece together the moments where it went wrong, but there were so many minutes to consider. And then there was Hosea…A father figure to you, gone just like that. Yes, the cracks started to show some time ago, but after Guarma, that was when it was worse. 

Charles’ arms had held you strong, passing some of his own strength to you. He had made promises to Arthur, promises that he now transferred to you, he wouldn’t abandon you, he’d take care of you. 

You dug Arthur’s grave together, one another keeping the other strong. You dug in the dying light of the day, the sun’s rays guiding Arthur home. You didn’t cry then, the tears had come all at once and then nothing for weeks. It wasn’t sorrow or anguish as such, that would have been easier than the numbness that now possessed you. 

You would curl up into his side at night, sometimes he would hold you from behind, sometimes there would space between you, but you always shared blankets. Charles became your home. You watched the stars together, you hunted together, occasionally when in a chirpier mood you would reminisce about the old days. You wondered with some sorrow what had become of your other friends, of Javier, John, Tilly….

It is months after Arthur’s passing when Charles sits across the campfire from you, watching the flames flicker in your eyes, your cheeks glowing red.

“He wasn’t a bad man, not in the end,” you say suddenly one night. 

You had been thinking about what you wanted for a long time, your mind was made up, wheels turned in motion before you had a chance to stop it.

Charles offers a smile, “He was better than most of us.” He pauses, “You know a part of him will always live on, that nothing truly dies, not really. We live, we die, but our actions in life, they count for something.”

You nod and then fall silent, shifting on the ground, your hands reaching for the campfire to warm them up. You try to think of something to say, and it’s there, a monologue, hundreds of words pent up, but when you open your mouth to speak, it may as well have been dust that fell from your parched lips. Nothing came, just a choking sound from deep within, the place where the weeds had grow and tangled, suppressing emotion, was finally being overgrown by new buds. But the battle within seemed to strangle you, and every word you tried to speak wouldn’t come, just a series of barely audible noises and the sound of your tongue against teeth. 

You met Charles’ eye line, he shifted his weight forward a little, concerned for you, he spoke, “It’s okay, I know.”

“I….” it’s a moment later, when you try to talk again. But there’s something else that’s getting in the way of you expressing how you feel. Five months have passed without the touch of another’s skin, at least, in that way. Long ago, five months would have been nothing, even when you and Arthur dedicated yourselves to one another, he didn’t have the highest sex drive, but still… You missed being needed, wanted like that.

“I…” you wanted to ask Charles to take you, to kill the pain for a moment, embarrassment stung your cheeks as you choked on your words and bile rose in your throat. You hadn’t even realised you were doing it but the way you were sat, your legs were parting more than normal, you were holding yourself higher, as you stared at Charles your heart rate begun to increase. 

Charles gets up and moves round to sit next to you, you rest your head on his shoulder, nuzzling into him. “I would give you the world if I could,” he speaks so softly it could have lulled you to sleep. 

You reach out for him, resting a hand on his knee, your fingers moving in slow circles which clearly tickled him a little. You slowly move your hand up his leg towards his thigh. As your hand travels further you feel a deep sense of trepidation at your own actions, but hearing Charles’ breath hitch when your hand started to massage the inside of his thigh, tells you that he wants this too. Looking down at his pants you see already that his bulge is growing, stretching the material tightly. 

“Charles…” you spoke so softly, but your voice was drenched in need.

The two of you don’t need to say anything more, you don’t need words, you don’t need to explain to Charles what you need or why. When his large hands come up to cup your chin and trace gently along your jawline. Your mouth falls open just slightly as you had moan in anticipation. 

Charles searches your face, looking for permission to continue, in response you take one of his fingers in your mouth, sucking gently, your tongue moves in circles across the tip. 

“Y/N,” Charles moans as you suck two of his fingers. 

The moment you let his fingers fall from your mouth, his lips meet yours, they are not greedy, but soft, need wrecks through your core as you pull him in closer, then push him away, straddling his hips. You continue to kiss him, deepening the kiss as your tongues explore each other’s mouths, he sucks on your lips, his hands now a mess, reaching round to grab your ass. You slowly rock your hips in his lap, feeling him now so hard against your sex. 

Charles reaches down and undoes his belt-buckle, undoing his pants a second later and allows his cock, large and heavy to spring free. You let out a moan just at the sight of it, he’s larger than Arthur, larger than any man you’ve been with before. Your hand reaches down, there is a moment where you pause, but it’s already too late, your hand wraps around him, eliciting a hiss from his lips. You slowly pump his cock, gripping hard at the base and then softer towards the head. You are careful not to go overboard, you guess that Charles has a lot of self-control, but want to make sure that this lasts.

Charles stops you suddenly and rolls you over, you entwine your fingers with his, his weight on top of you feels like safety.

There isn’t a lot of foreplay, no giggling or anticipation or slow build. The sex wasn’t for that, in a way, it wasn’t even born of a desire for one another and the pleasure sex can bring. It was born of desperation, of an ache that only built and needed release. Charles could do that for you, bring you to your knees, and when he filled you, you knew you would be whole again, even if just for a moment. 

You stare up at the sky, the rapidly setting sun, wondering how many sunsets you had watched with Arthur. A sudden guilt builds and you try to push it to the back of your mind.

And then Charles is kissing you again, his tongue in your mouth, his hands breaking free from yours reaching down between your legs. You lift your hips a little as you feel him undo your belt buckle so that he can slip your clothes and underclothes over your ass and allow him access. Only it’s no good, you want to be naked under him, if you are to sin, you wish to do it bared. 

“Charles,” you gently push him up. For a moment he looks confused, hurt even, but when he sees you removing your shirt and baring your chest for him, then removing your clothes completely so they lay in an undignified pile on the ground, he smiles. It’s a slightly wicked smile, a smile you haven’t seen him wear before, it sends desire pulsing to your core. 

Charles pushes you gently back to the ground, his hand traveling between your legs, slowly caressing the most delicate part of you. Your lips are open, head thrown back in pleasure as you try to grind your hips upwards. 

He reaches into a bag and pulls out some oil, squeezing a generous helping onto his hand he reaches back down between your legs and makes sure you are well prepared. The cold sensation causes you to shiver, but you soon feel at ease when he slips one, large finger inside of you. He gently pulls it out and back in, slowly fucking you before slipping a second digit in alongside the first and finally a third. The third nearly causes you to cry out, he’s stretching you in a way you haven’t been stretched before, but you know it is needed to accommodate his width and you are glad for the care. 

He looks up at you after pumping three fingers into you several times to gauge your reaction, you nod at him and he remove the fingers, shifts his weight back on top of you and lines himself up at your entrance. 

He enters you slowly, allowing you to feel at ease with him, to stretch you slowly, his size taking your breath away. In a way you wanted to scream, out of pain, out of pleasure, out of agony that he was filling you and not Arthur. But Charles was handsome, he was beautiful and had become everything you knew, past, present, future. 

Charles stays still for a moment, brushes some of the hair which has stuck to your forehead, to the side. He kisses your flushed cheeks and then moves his hips, slowly drawing out of you before thrusting back in a little quicker. 

For a moment you forget everything as Charles pounds you hard into the ground, your back arching, your hips thrust up to grind against his. He is every part the expert, knowing just where to angle to hit your most sensitive spot. The moans that come from your lips get louder, more frequent, but Charles remains almost silent. Arthur starts to fade, the memory of his touch though is still there and anger once again fills you, the anger that Dutch could give up on his ‘sons.’ No, you try to focus on Charles, on the feeling of him inside you, you try to channel all the anger into your grunts and moans, into the way you thrust your hips and allow yourself to be so completely ruined by Charles.

Your hands wrap round his torso, they snake up to back and your fingernails dig into his skin, it is only now he moans and hisses at your touch. You can tell by his pace he’s getting close, there’s still the control, but it’s a little more irregular and it’s working, your mind is blank, Arthur no longer exists in your world. One of Charles’ hands lifts and for a moment you believe he is going to place it at your neck, but instead he goes back to between your legs, making sure you feel every part as good as he does. And oh does it feel good. 

You clench around his cock and watch as Charles’ face contorts, his body trembles, you feel him pump inside you several times and as he gives one final thrust you feel him twitch. He remains inside you as his hand works at you to bring you to orgasm, a few second later you cry out and bite your lower lip. 

As you orgasm, Charles’ name spills from your lips. Arthur faded into the past, joining a thousand hearts, into the black. 

Afterwards Charles pulls blankets over the two of you and cradles you in his arms, your head rests on his chest listening to his heart beat slowly return to normal pace. His fingers lovingly play with your hair, you’re sure he’s braiding a small section of it. 

The setting sun had finally given birth to the night, neither of you spoke a word for a long time. At first you enjoyed the silence, but soon the old fears returned, the air around you felt heavy as the light slipped away. 

Charles eventually breaks the silence and with it, the stagnant air that has been choking you, “Are you okay?”

You prop yourself up and look down into his kind eyes, “I will be now, yes.” 

You smile and lean down to kiss his lips, it’s far more gentle than it was before. When you break away he moans your name, mutters something you can barely understand, but it’s clear to you how much he cares for you. 

As you lay back down and go to rest your head on his chest you are sure you see Arthur, just for a moment. He’s stood over the two of you, a smile playing on his face, hat in hand, you’re sure you hear him say, “That’s a good girl/boy…”

**Author's Note:**

> I have to be honest, I cried a little whilst writing this... 
> 
> After posting this on tumblr and re-reading, a part of me wished I'd added a little more tears before sex or even crying during sex. But then from my own experiences of grief, I know it isn't as simple as that and everyone processes loss in different ways. I wanted to show grief in a different way, just because Arthur's s/o isn't constantly crying or tearing up during sex with Charles, doesn't mean the grief isn't there. Anyway, I could probably write an essay on this! In the end, I really liked showing emotions through thought, through the feelings of guilt, by expressing that all the tears that had built up, spilt at once, and then the end of the fic itself.


End file.
